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Nuevo Chocolate City aka New Orleans, Louisiana''it's better to laugh than cry''
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books about New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina
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do you know what it meag to miss new orleag?Pat is there a "G"? (yes) I'd like to solve the puzzle, is it "New Orleag"? Yes Louisiana's Department of Transportation and Development didn't win at Wheel of Fortune, and they're getting a lot of jabs because of this sign:
Instead of replacing a sign that said "Baton Rouge", they covered it up with "New Orleans" and erased the "ge"... at some point the panel covering the "g" fell off, giving the Chocolate City a new moniker and a chance to sell merchandise. This isn't even a Naginism! Thanks DOTD! New Orleans Economic Recovery Plan[parody] Occupying the southeastern portion of the state of Louisiana, Orleans Parish took a tremendous economic hit after Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans is one is of the most disadvantaged cities in the United States, as social, economic and environmental indicators reveal. To begin economic recovery, Mayor C. Ray Nagin, who introduced Choconomics to New Orleans in the months after Hurricane Katrina, has implemented a 5 point plan. His plan is based on a Chocolate Economy and promises to attract tourism and the business sector back to Big Easy. 1 – Flood Bayou St. John with a rich delicious milk chocolate beverage. This has a two fold effect. (a) It will act as a magnet for the community and encourage the good people of Orleans Parish to take pride in the town. (b) Word of a working chocolate river in New Orleans will get out and tourism will increase an estimated 40%. 2 – Rename streets to embrace the Chocolate moniker. 3 – Attract new businesses. Encourage Hershey to relocate to New Orleans by offering incentives like a free liquor license and Mardi Gras bleacher seats on Lee Circle with portable toilet access. An independent research group hired by the mayor’s office determined conventional incentives such as reduced taxes and zoning variances affect too many politicians and would leave voters with an unpleasant taste in their pockets. Besides, who doesn’t love Mardi Gras!? The mayor’s 5 point plan was short by 2 points, and when asked about the other two points, Mayor Ray reminded everyone we need to be patient and as soon as the feds send some more cash down, there will be a boom. Monday night football is back in New Orleans with the Saints at the SuperdomeIt's just over a year after the city of New Orleans was devistated by Hurricane Katrina. NOLA is strong and continues to show signs it is rebounding. A lot of people are still displaced, lives shattered but when given the chance, the soul of the city shines and continues to celebrate in true New Orleans style, whether it be Mardi Gras, a Funeral, Jazz Fest or the Saints returning to the Super Dome! Tomorrow's big Monday night pregame party, in Super Bowl style, will be no exception.
JazzFest producer Quint Davis was called in to orchestrate the events in conjunction with Ken Ehrlich, producer of the Grammy Awards telecast.
Pregame festivities begin with with U2 and Green Day, together publicly for the first time! Also scheduled to play are Big Sam's Funky Nation, Irvin Mayfield, Troy Andrews, the Rebirth Brass Band, Storyville brass band and the GooGoo Dolls.
The Dome officially reopens at 5:30 p.m. The first people to enter the Dome will be 150 first-responders from Gulf Coast search and rescue teams.
Allen Toussaint and Irma Thomas will sing the national anthem and Former President George H. Bush will preside over the coin toss.
RealNetworks Rhapsody music service will stream U2 & Green Day live from the SuperDome, and sell downloads afterwards with proceeds going to Music Rising (musicrising.org).
PS: There really will be a football game, the Saints host the Atlanta Falcons, kick-off 8:30 pm ET, Mon. on ESPN
Spke Lee: Spike's Katrina - a look at New OrleansSpike Lee's film has its broadcast premiere tonight on HBO.
A four-hour HBO documentary about Hurricane Katrina, "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts"
Monday, August 21st at 9PM
Tuesday, August 22nd at 9PM When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts
As the world watched in horror, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans on August 29, 2005. Like many who watched the unfolding drama on television news, director Spike Lee was shocked not only by the scale of the disaster, but by the slow, inept and disorganized response of the emergency and recovery effort. Lee was moved to document this modern American tragedy, a morality play witnessed by people all around the world. The result is WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE: A REQUIEM IN FOUR ACTS. The film is structured in four acts, each dealing with a different aspect of the events that preceded and followed Katrina's catastrophic passage through New Orleans.
Acts I and II premiere Monday, August 21 at 9pm (ET/PT), followed by Acts III and IV on Tuesday, August 22 at 9pm.
All four acts will be seen Tuesday, Aug. 29 (8:00 p.m.-midnight), the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina
Drinking whiskey increases brain power?following up on the Chocolate=Brain Power theory: Jack Daniels may boost brain powerBy Juan Drünfok Thu Jun 8, 10:14 AM ET NEW ORLEANS (Barfly Gazette)—Boozers rejoice. A new study hints that drinking Jack Daniels, or almost any alcoholic beverage may boost brain function. "Alcohol contains substances that act as depressants, confusing signals from the brain that distract thought," Dr. Rococo Thibideaux noted in comments to fellow patrons from the Le Bon Temps bar in New Orleans , Louisiana. "Alcohol by itself has previously been found to increase alertness and attention and what we have found is that by consuming Jack Daniels you can get stimulating effects, which then lead to increased function from the Parietal Lobe, which controls speech." [editor note: See STFU] To study the effects of various types of hard liquor on brain power, Thibideaux and colleagues consumed, on separate occasions, 18 ounces of vodka; 18 ounces of whiskey; 18 ounces of tequila; and a few beers (the control condition). After a 120-minute ingestion period, participants completed a variety of neuropsychological tests which ranged from bouncing quarters into a shot glass, to folding cocktail napkins into cute dinosaur shapes to tying cherry stems into a knot with the tongue. "Composite scores for verbal and visual memory were significantly higher for whiskey than the other conditions," Thibideaux boasted to the bar regulars. And noted consumption of whiskey and tequila were associated with improved imagination and memory exaggeration. Previous research has shown that some nutrients in mixers like cranberry juice and soda aid in glucose release and increased blood flow, which may augment cognitive performance. The current findings, mumbled Thibideaux , "provide support for nutrient release via alcohol consumption to enhance cognitive performance." A. Vividimagination contributed to this article. this is a parody Chocolate drink gives New Orleans "wisdom and power"Use Your Cocoa Bean, Man!
In the year 2006, a Reuters Health report stated that chocolate increases brain power.
Eating chocolate increases Brain Power ?Listen up chocoholics, according to a Reuters Health report, eating milk chocolate may boost brain function (follow link to article below). Remember Mayor C. Ray Nagin’s world famous “Chocolate City” comments? Those words may inadvertently jump start the Crescent City’s economy. New Orleans begins to develop the young intellectual mind with delicious milk chocolate candy bars in grade school—I predict NOLA corporate relocation announcements after CEOs read the "chocolate=brain power" article (Reuters Health/ May 24, 2:35 PM ET). There may be a spurt of economic and commercial development on the horizon or spark a few Chocolate City Tee Shirt sales New Orleans levee system not ready for 06 Hurricane Season. Mayoral candidates voice no concern.[a parody] With hurricane season just two weeks away, Mayor Nagin, and the New Orleans City Commission met secretly with FEMA, Army Corp of Engineers and the Louisiana Office of Alcohol and Tobacco Control to devise a plan in the event of a flood. According to unofficial reports, the New Orleans levee system will not be 100% operational before the end of our 2006 Hurricane Season—there is no need for concern as the government has a plan. All private homes will be lifted and set upon well tested, termite proof, industrial size, rafts which sit on the ground (as seen in photo). In the remote chance that New Orleans floods, homes will float to the top and the city will be safe. This plan will work for Creole cottages, camelbacks, double shotguns regardless whether the tide rises in ritzy Uptown, Mid-City, Gert Town or Pigeon Town. These rafts won't sink no matter what delicious milk you prefer to drink. Both mayoral candidates support this effort and are confident the plan will be safe and aesthetically pleasing during our brief dry season too. Nagin suggested to think of it like going on a free cruise vacation! When your home passes the three-mile limit, you can open a casino! New Orleans Jazz Fest LIVE on MSN todayLast weekend's MSN broadcast of the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival was wonderful for those of us missing the Jazz Fest. Video streamed well, audio was crisp. The only gripe was audio level need to be balanced when the stream breaks away for a commercial.Feel the JAZZ FEST LOVE
  Today the audio begins 3:00 PM, EDT on http://music.msn.com/music/neworleansjazz
Programming subject to change; all times listed are EASTERN TIME:3:00-4:30 p.m. 4:30-6:30 p.m. 6:30-8:00 p.m. Chocolate City emergency evacuation planHave you seen the new hurricane evac plan to get everyone safely out of the Chocolate City, aka New Orleans? Some have balked at the "Twister board" directions (see: DIAGRAM) so a revised plan was introduced.
(REVISED evacuation plan attached below) Happy Jazz FestThe New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins tomorrow, April 28th, 2006—the first "post-Katrina" Jazz Fest. This year, due to damage from Hurricane Katrina, things may shock some people coming back for the first time. Remember, as the clean-up continues, people are working hard to rebuild. Please respect everyone, clean up after yourselves and leave a big tip. Now, more than ever, Enjoy JazzFest, and support local business!
Check out this First-time Fester FAQ that the Pet de Kat Krewe has collected to help make your JazzFest a little more festive, as well as the list of great resources at the bottom of this blog entry.
Festive merchandise:
      Useful Jazz Fest Related Links:
The Fest gives a much needed boost to the local morale and economy. Thanks to Quint and company for coming back.
and THANK YOU for continuing to donate for rebuilding and relief efforts. Let's hope for a speedy recovery to the entire Gulf Coast region and a mild 2006 h***icane season.
LA primary election resourcesWhen the voters absentee ballot parody was posted to this blog, hits skyrocketed. I was asked a few times to post "real" election resources, so here's a link... Louisiana primary election resources Don't miss the New Orleans Mayoral Debate tonight at 9 p.m. ET (4/17/2006), broadcast live on MSNBC from New Orleans. This should be good for a laugh or 200. (I have no confirmation at this time whether ComedyCentral will simulcast). For fun: Count how many Chocolate City Shirts you spot on election day. New Orleans simplified absentee voter form ~ Orleans Parish, Louisiana[THIS TOO IS A PARODY] — A last minute effort to avoid absentee voting chaos may have only made matters worse. Some critics claim the decision by Orleans Parish Reckoning & Electioning Department to add graphical icons representing mayoral candidates to the ballot may sway the voting public to a more attractive mayor. PLEASE SEE REVISED ABSENTEE BALLOT: candidatse.PDF Mayorial RaceHey kids, the Election is a little more than a month away, April 22nd, and few of the candidates look like us!
Chocolate City Mayor Nagin told the almost totally black crowd of about 200 persons who attended a meeting at the NAACP Family & Technology Center on Fannin that of the 23 candidates entered the New Orleans mayoral sideshow, "Very few of them look like us." Story in Houston Chronicle And here are some funny RAY NAGIN shirts on Cafepress. St. Charles Chocolate FloatThis is a bittersweet Mardi Gras season and political satire is everywhere. With or without corporate sponsorship, here are some of the notable quotables from parades...
funny Blue Frog Chocolate stuffSOME KREATIVE KATRINA CHOKOLATE
Blue Frog Chocolates' delicious, creative FEMA Approved Blue Roof House and Hurricane Katrina Trash Pile just cracked me up. Thank you guys at Blue Frog for the smile, and good luck.
seeking goose to lay golden egg for Mardi Grasparody
THE GOLDEN CHOCOLATE EGG FOR MARDI GRAS(2006-Feb-3, Chocolate City, LA)—Two weeks before the beginning of the first post-Katrina Carnival parade season, and the city of New Orleans is still searching for millions of dollars necessary to throw the Mardi Gras party.
 Hershey and Nestle chocolate companies declined to comment to us, but sources say the Pennsylvania chocolate companies were approached but declined sponsorship. Belgium master-chocolatier, Neuhaus, has expressed interest but city council is apprehensive about associating outside names to Mardi Gras, a traditionally local event.Elmer's Candy Factory, maker of seasonal favorite candies like Heavenly Hash Eggs, Gold Brick Eggs and Chee Weez would be an ideal Louisiana based title sponsor but they don’t have the nearly $3 million to pull this off.
The estimated $2.7 million needed for Mardi Gras parades include $160,000 for the Police Department, $25,000 for the Sanitation Department, $62,000 for the Public Works Department and the remaining amount for local politician handshaking and waving.
It would indeed be a national disaster to cancel the 2006 Mardi Gras but no federal agencies would return our calls whether FEMA can foot this bill. Governor Blanco-the-clown, who was supervising the staff nap time, could not meet with us for comments before deadline.
Many corporations have been contacted, but city council members, who are cash starved, were disappointed at offers and want, "Bill Gates type money!"
 There is no way the Mardi Gras will be cancelled, so just clean up after yourselves and play nice with the other children. Support local artistsHelp artists displaced from New Orleans who are selling online to help with their expenses!
What flavor is your city?The CHOCOLATE CITY comments by New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin have tourism boards from coast-to-coast simmering...
I've seen some city flavors across the internet, here are a few ideas:
What is your town's flavor? ... revised New Orleans Redevelopment Plan Unveiled by Mayor Nagin PARODYNewly revised Redevelopment Plan Unveiled by Mayor Nagin A PARODY: 19-Jan-2006 (Chocolate City, Louisiana) To allocate labor effectively, starting in April 2006, five gold wrappers will be distributed randomly on candy bars throughout Orleans Parish. Any person who receives a gold wrapper will be granted all permits to begin construction. "We will rebuild this Chocolate City," said Mayor Ray Nagin in an impromptu happy hour press conference outside the Crescent City Brewhouse. Nagin, wearing his now signature Willie Wonka hat, stated the details will be revealed in the next few weeks but went on to say five new wrappers will be released every 90 days. Every 180 days one platinum wrapper will be circulated in the parish. The bearer of a platinum wrapper is entitled to $125,000 in secret grant money managed by the city's shadow government. Gold wrappers are transferable. No outsiders are entitled to grant money or permits. Certified proof of local elementary school and/or krewe affiliation is required prior to permitting or release of grant monies. A $25,000 processing fee is associated with all gold foil permits. Permits require an annual renewal, and additional fees may apply. All grant money is subject to city council approval. Never confuse Hershey and our "Chocolate City with NUTS" :) cafepress.com/chocolatecity2
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Related, either directly or by second cousin, to New Orleans, Louisiana
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