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Nuevo Chocolate City aka New Orleans, Louisiana

''it's better to laugh than cry''
books about New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina
by 
by 
by 
Hurricane Katrina : CNN Reports: State of Emergency
Rising Tide: The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 and How It Changed America
Time: Hurricane Katrina : The Storm That Changed America
Transforming New Orleans and Its Environs: Centuries of Change
'Unacceptable': The Federal Government's Response to Hurricane Katrina (Paperback)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Radio

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Mayor Ray Nagin special

Mayor Ray Nagin says anyone evacuating the Houston area in anticipation of Hurricane Ike is welcome in New Orleans. No shelters have been opened in New Orleans. But Nagin says there are 13,000 to 15,000 available hotel rooms. He says people should just ask for the "Mayor Ray Nagin special" rate Boy

Hoteliers in New Orleans knew nothing about the Ray Nagin rate, but if you have AAA or AARP you can save 10%.Wink

What would be included in a Ray Nagin special rate?  Our producers hit the streets to find out what the people suggested:
  • Delicious chocolates on the pillows
  • Valid only in Dallas, Texas
  • You'll have to see Ray for a discount, we haven't seen Mr Nagin around here in months
  • $25 in poker chips and a free night at the parking garage
  • Free Digital Video Recorder with a year contract for Cox Cable
What would you expect a Ray Nagin special rate to include?

do you know what it meag to miss new orleag?

Pat is there a "G"? (yes) I'd like to solve the puzzle, is it "New Orleag"?

Yes Louisiana's Department of Transportation and Development didn't win at Wheel of Fortune, and they're getting a lot of jabs because of this sign: 

Instead of replacing a sign that said "Baton Rouge", they covered it up with "New Orleans" and erased the "ge"... at some point the panel covering the "g" fell off, giving the Chocolate City a new moniker and a chance to sell merchandise. This isn't even a Naginism! Thanks DOTD!



New Orleag shirts

New Orleans Economic Recovery Plan

[parody]   Occupying the southeastern portion of the state of Louisiana, Orleans Parish took a tremendous economic hit after Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans is one is of the most disadvantaged cities in the United States, as social, economic and environmental indicators reveal. To begin economic recovery, Mayor C. Ray Nagin, who introduced Choconomics to New Orleans in the months after Hurricane Katrina, has implemented a 5 point plan.

His plan is based on a Chocolate Economy and promises to attract tourism and the business sector back to Big Easy.

1 – Flood Bayou St. John with a rich delicious milk chocolate beverage. This has a two fold effect. (a) It will act as a magnet for the community and encourage the good people of Orleans Parish to take pride in the town. (b) Word of a working chocolate river in New Orleans will get out and tourism will increase an estimated 40%.

2 – Rename streets to embrace the Chocolate moniker. 
Canal Street will become Chocolate Avenue.  Carrollton Avenue becomes Cocoa Avenue. The prestigious St. Charles Avenue will be entitled Milky Way. Magazine Street will be known as Candy Lane and LaSalle will be Bittersweet Place.  The results of new street names will be immediate with convention bookings in New Orleans soaring. Who wouldn’t want to stay on the Milky Way?

3 – Attract new businesses.  Encourage Hershey to relocate to New Orleans by offering incentives like a free liquor license and Mardi Gras bleacher seats on Lee Circle with portable toilet access.  An independent research group hired by the mayor’s office determined conventional incentives such as reduced taxes and zoning variances affect too many politicians and would leave voters with an unpleasant taste in their pockets. Besides, who doesn’t love Mardi Gras!?


[Chocolate City gifts]

The mayor’s 5 point plan was short by 2 points, and when asked about the other two points, Mayor Ray reminded everyone we need to be patient and as soon as the feds send some more cash down, there will be a boom.

Monday night football is back in New Orleans with the Saints at the Superdome

It's just over a year after the city of New Orleans was devistated by Hurricane Katrina. NOLA is strong and continues to show signs it is rebounding. A lot of people are still displaced, lives shattered but when given the chance, the soul of the city shines and continues to celebrate in true New Orleans style, whether it be Mardi Gras, a Funeral, Jazz Fest or the Saints returning to the Super Dome! Tomorrow's big Monday night pregame party, in Super Bowl style, will be no exception.

JazzFest producer Quint Davis was called in to orchestrate the events in conjunction with Ken Ehrlich, producer of the Grammy Awards telecast.

Pregame festivities begin with with U2 and Green Day, together publicly for the first time! Also scheduled to play are Big Sam's Funky Nation, Irvin Mayfield, Troy Andrews, the Rebirth Brass Band, Storyville brass band and the GooGoo Dolls.

The Dome officially reopens at 5:30 p.m. The first people to enter the Dome will be 150 first-responders from Gulf Coast search and rescue teams.

Allen Toussaint and Irma Thomas will sing the national anthem and Former President George H. Bush will preside over the coin toss.

RealNetworks Rhapsody music service will stream U2 & Green Day live from the SuperDome, and sell downloads afterwards with proceeds going to Music Rising (musicrising.org).

PS: There really will be a football game, the Saints host the Atlanta Falcons, kick-off 8:30 pm ET, Mon. on ESPN

Spke Lee: Spike's Katrina - a look at New Orleans

Spike Lee's film has its broadcast premiere tonight on HBO.
A four-hour HBO documentary about Hurricane Katrina, "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts"
 
Monday, August 21st at 9PM
Tuesday, August 22nd at 9PM
 
When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts
As the world watched in horror, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans on August 29, 2005. Like many who watched the unfolding drama on television news, director Spike Lee was shocked not only by the scale of the disaster, but by the slow, inept and disorganized response of the emergency and recovery effort. Lee was moved to document this modern American tragedy, a morality play witnessed by people all around the world. The result is WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE: A REQUIEM IN FOUR ACTS. The film is structured in four acts, each dealing with a different aspect of the events that preceded and followed Katrina's catastrophic passage through New Orleans.
 
Acts I and II premiere Monday, August 21 at 9pm (ET/PT), followed by Acts III and IV on Tuesday, August 22 at 9pm.
 
All four acts will be seen Tuesday, Aug. 29 (8:00 p.m.-midnight), the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina
 
 

Drinking whiskey increases brain power?

following up on the Chocolate=Brain Power theory:

Jack Daniels may boost brain power


By Juan Drünfok Thu Jun 8, 10:14 AM ET

NEW ORLEANS (Barfly Gazette)—Boozers rejoice. A new study hints that drinking Jack Daniels, or almost any alcoholic beverage may boost brain function.

"Alcohol contains substances that act as depressants, confusing signals from the brain that distract thought," Dr. Rococo Thibideaux noted in comments to fellow patrons from the Le Bon Temps bar in New Orleans , Louisiana.

"Alcohol by itself has previously been found to increase alertness and attention and what we have found is that by consuming Jack Daniels you can get stimulating effects, which then lead to increased function from the Parietal Lobe, which controls speech." [editor note: See STFU]

To study the effects of various types of hard liquor on brain power, Thibideaux and colleagues consumed, on separate occasions, 18 ounces of vodka; 18 ounces of whiskey; 18 ounces of tequila; and a few beers (the control condition).

After a 120-minute ingestion period, participants completed a variety of neuropsychological tests which ranged from bouncing quarters into a shot glass, to folding cocktail napkins into cute dinosaur shapes to tying cherry stems into a knot with the tongue.

"Composite scores for verbal and visual memory were significantly higher for whiskey than the other conditions," Thibideaux boasted to the bar regulars. And noted consumption of whiskey and tequila were associated with improved imagination and memory exaggeration.

Previous research has shown that some nutrients in mixers like cranberry juice and soda aid in glucose release and increased blood flow, which may augment cognitive performance. The current findings, mumbled Thibideaux , "provide support for nutrient release via alcohol consumption to enhance cognitive performance."


A. Vividimagination contributed to this article.

this is a parody

Chocolate drink gives New Orleans "wisdom and power"

Use Your Cocoa Bean, Man!
 
In the year 600, fourteen centuries before New Orleans Mayor C. Ray Nagin's declaration of a Chocolate City, the cocoa bean was considered the ultimate status symbol in Mayan and Aztec cultures. The beans were used as currency and those wealthy enough to have an excess of beans used them to make a delicious chocolate drink which gave them "wisdom and power."

 

In the year 2006, a Reuters Health report stated that chocolate increases brain power.
 
[sarcasm] So under the guise of the cocoa bean, with increased brain power, NOLA will be rebuilt a city with wisdom, starting with a wonderful new $700 million jazz district and central park. Sure the city is broke, but if the mayor gets a new City Hall and park, it could be the catalyst that stimulates a revitalized Orleans. But doesn't
New Orleans have another huge park? City Park has been neglected by the city of New Orleans for years. Hey with $400 million in private financing already lined up for the Jazz Park, it will be entertaining to see how the money vanishes.

 

Eating chocolate increases Brain Power ?

Listen up chocoholics, according to a Reuters Health report, eating milk chocolate may boost brain function (follow link to article below). Remember Mayor C. Ray Nagin’s world famous “Chocolate City” comments? Those words may inadvertently jump start the Crescent City’s economy.

New Orleans begins to develop the young intellectual mind with delicious milk chocolate candy bars in grade school—I predict NOLA corporate relocation announcements after CEOs read the "chocolate=brain power" article (Reuters Health/ May 24, 2:35 PM ET). There may be a spurt of economic and commercial development on the horizon or spark a few Chocolate City Tee Shirt sales .

New Orleans levee system not ready for 06 Hurricane Season. Mayoral candidates voice no concern.

[a parody]   With hurricane season just two weeks away, Mayor Nagin, and the New Orleans City Commission met secretly with FEMA, Army Corp of Engineers and the Louisiana Office of Alcohol and Tobacco Control to devise a plan in the event of a flood. 

According to unofficial reports, the New Orleans levee system will not be 100% operational before the end of our 2006 Hurricane Season—there is no need for concern as the government has a plan. 

All private homes will be lifted and set upon well tested, termite proof, industrial size, rafts which sit on the ground (as seen in photo).  In the remote chance that New Orleans floods,  homes will float to the top and the city will be safe. 

This plan will work for Creole cottages, camelbacks, double shotguns regardless whether the tide rises in ritzy Uptown, Mid-City, Gert Town or Pigeon Town. These rafts won't sink no matter what delicious milk you prefer to drink.

Both mayoral candidates support this effort and are confident the plan will be safe and aesthetically pleasing during our brief dry season too.

Nagin suggested to think of it like going on a free cruise vacation! When your home passes the three-mile limit, you can open a casino!

New Orleans Jazz Fest LIVE on MSN today

Last weekend's MSN broadcast of the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival was wonderful for those of us missing the Jazz Fest.  Video streamed well, audio was crisp. The only gripe was audio level need to be balanced when the stream breaks away for a commercial. 

 
 
 
Today the audio begins 3:00 PM, EDT on http://music.msn.com/music/neworleansjazz
 

Programming subject to change; all times listed are EASTERN TIME:

3:00-4:30 p.m.
Shades of Praise Choir
Irma Thomas
Marcia Ball
Marva Wright
Koko Taylor
Subdudes

4:30-6:30 p.m.
Jimmy Buffett
Terrence Blanchard
Herbie Hancock
Paul Simon - with guests Stanley Dural Jr. (Buckwheat Zydeco), Allen Toussaint and Irma Thomas.
Buckwheat Zydeco

6:30-8:00 p.m.
Deacon John
Fats Domino - cancelled. Quint Davis announced around 3pm that Fats was sick and heading to the hospital, missing his scheduled performance.  Lionel Richie is scheduled to perform in Domino's place.

Chocolate City emergency evacuation plan

Have you seen the new hurricane evac plan to get everyone safely out of the Chocolate City, aka New Orleans?  Some have balked at the "Twister board" directions (see: DIAGRAM) so a revised plan was introduced.
 
(REVISED evacuation plan attached below)

Happy Jazz Fest

The New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins tomorrow, April 28th, 2006—the first "post-Katrina" Jazz Fest. This year, due to damage from Hurricane Katrina, things may shock some people coming back for the first time. Remember, as the clean-up continues, people are working hard to rebuild. Please respect everyone, clean up after yourselves and leave a big tip. Now, more than ever, Enjoy JazzFest, and support local business!
 
Check out this First-time Fester FAQ that the Pet de Kat Krewe has collected to help make your JazzFest a little more festive, as well as the list of great resources at the bottom of this blog entry.
 
            Festive merchandise:
Blues for Katrina Jazz Fest Love Survivor Jazz Fest Fig Street Studio bluecat JazzFest Fest Active
 
        Useful Jazz Fest Related Links:
The Fest gives a much needed boost to the local morale and economy.  Thanks to Quint and company for coming back.
 
and THANK YOU for continuing to donate for rebuilding and relief efforts. Let's hope for a speedy recovery to the entire Gulf Coast region and a mild 2006 h***icane season.
 
 

LA primary election resources

When the voters absentee  ballot parody was posted to this blog, hits skyrocketed. I was asked a few times to post "real" election resources, so here's a link...  

     Louisiana primary election resources

Don't miss the New Orleans Mayoral Debate tonight at 9 p.m. ET (4/17/2006), broadcast live on MSNBC from New Orleans. This should be good for a laugh or 200. (I have no confirmation at this time whether ComedyCentral will simulcast).

For fun: Count how many Chocolate City Shirts you spot on election day.

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New Orleans simplified absentee voter form ~ Orleans Parish, Louisiana

[THIS TOO IS A PARODY] — A last minute effort to avoid absentee voting chaos may have only made matters worse.

Some critics claim the decision by Orleans Parish Reckoning & Electioning Department to add graphical icons representing mayoral candidates to the ballot may sway the voting public to a more attractive mayor.

PLEASE SEE REVISED ABSENTEE BALLOT: candidatse.PDF

Mayorial Race

Hey kids, the Election is a little more than a month away, April 22nd, and few of the candidates look like us!

Chocolate City Mayor Nagin told the almost totally black crowd of about 200 persons who attended a meeting at the NAACP Family & Technology Center on Fannin that of the 23 candidates entered the New Orleans mayoral sideshow, "Very few of them look like us."   Story in Houston Chronicle
 
And here are some funny RAY NAGIN shirts on Cafepress.

St. Charles Chocolate Float

This is a bittersweet Mardi Gras season and political satire is everywhere. With or without corporate sponsorship, here are some of the notable quotables from parades...
  • "Chocolate Divinity," featuring a bust of Mayor Ray Nagin
  • Krewe du Vieux's theme = C'est Levee
  • "Throw me a trailer, Mistah."
  • "Rotten to the Corps"
  • "FEMA Called - Beads will be here in April"
  • "Home is where the Tarp is"
  • ...as well as many "fashionable" blue tarp outfits and costumed refrigerators.

funny Blue Frog Chocolate stuff

SOME KREATIVE KATRINA CHOKOLATE

 


Blue Frog Chocolates

Blue Frog Chocolates' delicious, creative FEMA Approved Blue Roof House and Hurricane Katrina Trash Pile just cracked me up. Thank you guys at Blue Frog for the smile, and good luck.      bluefrogchocolates.com

 

seeking goose to lay golden egg for Mardi Gras

parody

THE GOLDEN CHOCOLATE EGG FOR MARDI GRAS

 
(2006-Feb-3, Chocolate City, LA)—Two weeks before the beginning of the first post-Katrina Carnival parade season, and the city of New Orleans is still searching for millions of dollars necessary to throw the Mardi Gras party.
 
Hershey and Nestle chocolate companies declined to comment to us, but sources say the Pennsylvania chocolate companies were approached but declined sponsorship.  Belgium master-chocolatier, Neuhaus, has expressed interest but city council is apprehensive about associating outside names to Mardi Gras, a traditionally local event.
 
Elmer's Candy Factory, maker of seasonal favorite candies like Heavenly Hash Eggs, Gold Brick Eggs and Chee Weez would be an ideal Louisiana based title sponsor but they don’t have the nearly $3 million to pull this off.
 
The estimated $2.7 million needed for Mardi Gras parades include $160,000 for the Police Department, $25,000 for the Sanitation Department, $62,000 for the Public Works Department and the remaining amount for local politician handshaking and waving.
 
It would indeed be a national disaster to cancel the 2006 Mardi Gras but no federal agencies would return our calls whether FEMA can foot this bill.  Governor Blanco-the-clown, who was supervising the staff nap time, could not meet with us for comments before deadline.
 
Many corporations have been contacted, but city council members, who are cash starved, were disappointed at offers and want, "Bill Gates type money!" 
 
 There is no way the Mardi Gras will be cancelled, so just clean up after yourselves and play nice with the other children. 
 

Support local artists

Help artists displaced from New Orleans who are selling online to help with their expenses!

(JERRY SCHWEHM, ARTIST)

 
 
 
 

What flavor is your city?

The CHOCOLATE CITY comments by New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin have tourism boards from coast-to-coast simmering...
 
I've seen some city flavors across the internet, here are a few ideas:
    • Atlanta: Peaches n Cream
    • Boston: Neapolitan
    • Chicago: Chocolate Marshmallow
    • Houston: Fudge Ripple
    • Key West: Rainbow Sherbert
    • Los Angeles: Sugar Free Lemon Ice
    • Miami: Mango Sorbet
    • New Orleans (revised)  Chocolate Fudge Pralines 'n Cream (Two scoops!)
    • New York: Super Fudge Chunk
    • Salt Lake City: Vanilla
    • San Antonio: Dos Amigos (Vanilla swirled with chocolate ice cream and a hint of cinnamon)
    • San Francisco: Cherry Garcia
    • Seattle: Coffee
    • Washington DC: Cookie Dough
 What is your town's flavor? ...
 

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Related, either directly or by second cousin, to New Orleans, Louisiana